While The Billy BoilsSearchCandidates draw near,We often have elections;Listen, and you’ll hear,A few first-rate directions.Mind, I require no fees,So grant me your attention;And to would-be M.L.C.’s,A dodge or two I’ll mention.
If you’re possessed of pelf(This is good admonition),First unto yourselfDraw up a requisition.About your talents blow,Mind, that’s the regular caper;For all these things, you know,Look deuced well on paper.
Be full of cautiousness;Spend lots in advertising;Then, issue an address,The effect will be surprising.That taking word REFORM!Throughout it keep repeating;Pitch it pretty warm,And then call a meeting.
If you’re not a flat,Get some one that knows you;With a good coat and black hat;To stand up and propose you.Run the squatters down,Cry down Compensation;’Twill suit, I’ll bet a crown,The digging population.
Abuse the Government;Say that your are shocked,And ’tis your intentThe lands shall be unlocked.Call their system bad;Swear yours is superior;And that railways must be had,To open up th’ interior.
Be sure that you decryProperty qualification;And, if you are fly,Crack up education.And as a splendid blind,Enlarge on moral training;Extol the infant mind,And a great point you’ll be gaining.
The Chinese tax evade;Favor emigration;Advocate State Aid,And Steam Communication.From California,We’ve lately had a letter;So, of course, the less you sayAbout Balloting the better.
Instruction you will findIn these profound suggestions;’Tis not your game, though, mind,To answer any questions.Come in a sober state,Do as I’ve directed,And I calculate,You’re safe to be elected.